Cow Economics
Friday, April 10, 2009
Note: Sit down, this is quite long, but it will make you feel smart. LOfL
ECONOMICS
Assume you have two cows.
Absolute Monarchy
The king has two cows. He and his cows live off the fat of the land while the poor peasants in the land starve. Then the peasants revolt. At the end he gets hanged, and the cows take power over the peasants.
Abstract Expressionism
You have two cows, or they can be goats or battleships or galaxies or whatever you personally feel you can see when you stare at them long enough.
Absurdism
You have two cows. Firstly, what the crap is a cow, and why would you have one? It makes no sense whatsoever.
Alien encounter
You and your two cows are abducted by aliens, then you get anal probed by aliens, the cows get killed by aliens, while the US government says yo momma’s ugly. more_button.
Altruism
You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor. You send the other cow to Somalia.
Anarchism
You have two cows. Your neighbour has one cow, and asks you to share your spare cow’s milk with them. You voluntarily agree, and with the enthusiastic help of your scientist neighbour you make the cow self-replicate. Now your neighbour also has two cows, and everyone cheers each other on for doing so well without a government.
Arachno-communism
You have two cows. Giant spiders tell you what to do with them.
Anarcho-individualism
You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to have them and leave to form their own society. You starve, they don’t.
Andyutopia
You have two cows. You’re so leet, that even your cows can write java.
Anthropomorphism
You have two cows. You feel intensely that you are also a cow, and are shunned by your neighbors.
Atheism
You don’t believe in Cows.
Stalinism
Two cows in one country. You make a five year plan. You achieve your goals in three years. Ten million cows died.
Veganism
You have two cows, and choose not to exploit them. Everyone is happy, including the cows.
Socialism
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
Communism
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
Bureaucratism
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away.
Surrealism
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Egoism
You have two cows, but who cares about that? What about me?
Existentialism
You think you have two cows therefore you have.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and
market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A NIGERIAN CORPORATION
DEAR FRIEND, I AM SON OF FORMER NIGERIAN PRESIDENT SANI ABACHA. YOU WERE RECOMMENDED TO ME BY A COLLEAGUE. I HAVE A BUSINESS PROPOSITION FOR YOU. I HAVE TWO COWS…
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
UTOPIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, and everyone including the cows is happy. All the time.
WALES
You have two sheeps.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
IMELDA MARCOS CORPORATION
You have two cows. One is love, and the other is peace. Love and peace make beauty, while peace and beauty make love, while beauty and love make peace. Feed the first cow to enrich the other cow, but you cannot feed the other cow because it will deprive the spirit of beauty. If you deprive the two cows of beauty, you will get a Pac-Man soul. That’s peace.
A FILIPINO CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One is reserved for the wedding of your son,
The other one you give as bribe to your politician.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
laughoutfuckingloud!!!
if i have two cows
i will name them Obama and Bush
i will sell Obama to the Japanese, and Bush to the Brits,
using Anarchism. WTF!
OR
If I have two fatass cows,
I’d prolly shred them
and travel to Maldives or Macau. LOFL©
or buy a DSLR camera. click! shutter! click, baby!♥
*this has been lurking in my google mailbox for quitesometime…never paid attention to it…but noticed the Imelda Marcos…so, I read it..and transported it here…have fun reading. LOL
So, tell me…if you have two cows, what will you do?
Previous Comments
hahaha. 
natawa naman ako sa comment ni Shobe!
@Shobe - takaw!
choco choco. almost one month ata akong di nakadalaw dito. 
i.am.blaming.work. *hugs*
if i have two cows, hmm, ibebenta ko, para ung pera eh gagamitin ko para makabili ng ticket pauwi ng pinas! hahaha.
haaay…pagkain nlng ang palagi nating pinaguusapan shobe…
*eating mode*
Karmi, 1 month na akong pagod…magblog. i.am.blaming.onlinepoker/offlinepoker.finnishlessons.beach.SmartBro.APATHY.LOFL
kulang pa 2 cows mo para sa ticket papunta pinas. haha!!! mooo!!!
Posted by chocolatesuicide at May 10, 2009, 8:32 pmhere’s mine
ELECTION CAMPAIGN PERIOD
You have no cow
A politician gives you one
and another politician gives you another cow
and still another gives
and yet another
and then another
and some more cows
and lots, and lots of cows
hahahahaha! nice one Jet!!!
i want those cows.NOT! hahaha!
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